Twelve Painfully Perfect Holidays
by GreenAppleIce
Summary: The last five pains of Christmas: Because despite all the inconveniences, there's nothing like spending the holidays with your beloved and your loved ones.
1. Finding a Christmas Tree

A/N: This is the start of my Christmas fic. The prompt for each chapter is a pain from The 12 Pains of Christmas song. The link for the YouTube video I watch is on my profile page. Ooh, you should also watch the Merry Christmas-Prince of Tennis style video too (it's is too awesome for words!). The link for that is also on my profile page. Enough delay, I hope you enjoy this!

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis

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It was cold. No, that was an understatement. It was _freezing_. And not just regular freezing either. This was the kind of freezing where your words literally turn into ice when you speak, the kind of freezing that make even Eskimos yearn for the warm sunny days of spring, the kind of freezing where you would want to snuggle up in bed with the heater turned up to the max. It was the kind of freezing where you would not want to be outside even if you were paid a million dollars.

Tezuka was outside.

Now why, you might ask, would the ever-sensible and ever-practical Tezuka Kunimitsu be outside on what might possibly be the coldest day of the year? He certainly wasn't paid a million dollars to stand around in the snow for several hours and in a forest nonetheless. Such a simple question, naturally, only requires a simple answer:

Because Fuji was outside.

And no, Fuji wasn't paid a million dollars either.

Shivering violently, Tezuka crossed his arms tightly in a futile attempt to warm himself. Futile, as in it didn't work. His thick blue coat wasn't doing its job either. Sure, it kept the falling snowflakes off of the long-sleeved shirt Fuji had bought him (Fuji had claimed that it was because the shade of royal purple reminded him of Tezuka), but he was still cold. Tezuka shuddered as a gust of wind blew into him, the snow temporarily clouding his glasses. He should have brought a scarf and a pair of gloves along. Then again, he hadn't thought that they would still be outside.

"Fuji," he forced out through clenched teeth. "Are you done?"

"Saa, just a bit longer," Fuji replied cheerfully. "I haven't found the perfect tree yet."

On the other hand, Fuji looked right at home in the snow bundled up in a fuzzy white coat and black turtleneck sweater. The silver necklace clasped around his neck bounced around, as Fuji darted around the fir trees and evergreens. In his hands, Fuji clutched his treasured digital camera, a birthday gift from Tezuka a few years ago. Today's objective? To take a picture of the perfect Christmas tree.

Fuji paused in front of a tree in order to inspect it more carefully. This one looked promising. The trunk of the tree had a unique texture, and the snow collected on the branches added an interesting touch….but it wasn't the right one. Shaking his head regretfully, Fuji rejected the tree as he had done with several other trees for the past seven hours.

The young man sighed as he looked around once more. A truly beautiful scene it was, with trees towering majestically overhead, covered with glittering piles of white snow. That same snow covered the ground for as far as the eye could see. It was the type of scene that one would see on a Christmas card, complete with snow floating down lightly from the overcast sky. As much as Fuji appreciated the beauty of his surroundings, he could not help but to be frustrated. They had set out immediately after an early breakfast, but it was now way past lunchtime, and Fuji had taken a grand total of zero pictures so far.

Glancing back at Tezuka's rigid figure, Fuji felt his lips automatically curve up into a tender smile. Despite his dislike for the cold, Tezuka had still insisted on accompanying Fuji on his spontaneous trip.

Fuji flitted over to where Tezuka was rooted; he hadn't budged from his position since they arrived. To anyone who didn't know Tezuka that well, they would've said that the stoic man looked as stony-faced as always. However, with his trained senses, Fuji could tell that his poor lover was downright miserable. Tezuka's lips, pressed in a thin line with the corners turned slightly down, and the small furrow of his brows gave him away. Fuji felt a bit guilty. He vowed to make it up to Tezuka later though.

"Ne, Tezuka," said Fuji as he glided gracefully to a stop, a gentle smile upon his delicate features. "You know you didn't have to come, right?" Stepping closer, Fuji hugged Tezuka around the waist, resting his head on the familiar broad chest.

"I wasn't going to let you go by yourself," retorted Tezuka stiffly. He wrapped his arms gratefully around Fuji's slender body. Burying his face into the silken honey strands, Tezuka relaxed as the heat radiating from Fuji's warm form gradually stilled his shivers. Maybe the cold wasn't so bad after all.

Eyes shut firmly, Fuji snuggled closer into Tezuka's protective embrace. Tezuka really was sweet in his own way, Fuji mused.

"Saa, I was really hoping to find something nice to take a picture of," murmured Fuji, a shade of disappointment coloring his voice. "I guess I'll have to wait for another time."

"What about the tree behind me?"

Distracted by the pleasant rumbling from Tezuka's chest, Fuji responded with a vague "Hmm?"

"The tree behind me," Tezuka repeated patiently.

Fuji lifted his head up reluctantly to peer around his lover. His sapphire orbs fluttered open as he let out a surprised gasp. "Oh!"

Stunning, absolutely gorgeous. Fuji hadn't noticed the tree before because Tezuka had been standing in front of the trunk. Fuji's eyes eagerly drank in the tree's impressive height, the strong branches jutting out, and the vibrant green color flashing from underneath the shimmering snow. It was the Christmas tree that every child dreamed of, minus the ornaments and garland. Yet, its simplicity was what made it so breathtaking.

"It's perfect," breathed out Fuji. He untangled himself from Tezuka and brought the camera up. Despite trembling hands, Fuji managed to snap a picture. He smiled contently. Even on the small digital screen, he could tell that it would turn out beautiful. Tezuka came up behind him.

"Are you done?" Tezuka's warm breath ghosted over Fuji's ear. Turning around, the smaller man nodded happily.

"Yes. We can go now." Fuji grinned to himself as he heard Tezuka's sigh of relief. Slipping his hand into Tezuka's larger one, they started the long trek back to the hotel. The snow continued to fall softly, enveloping the two of them in a loving white blanket, as the perfect Christmas tree continued to stand proudly, watching over them as they left. It was a beautiful holiday indeed.

xX Owari Xx

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A/N: Gah, this was supposed to be up on the seventh! . I wanted to post this yesterday since it was my birthday, but the site wouldn't let me. I gave up after trying for half an hour. Thank you very much chocolate-fondue for the birthday fic (it's so much better than this)! Oh, I just remembered. For those of you that read Keeping That Person, Fuji's ringtone is Kaze no Tabibito. Anyways, reviews are very much appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	2. Rigging Up the Lights

A/N: Ha ha, it's up on Friday, just like I wanted (Friday night, but still Friday)! And oh look, there's telepathy in here :D Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis

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'_Just a bit more_…' thought Fuji stretching as far as he could without losing his balance. Perched at the top of a ladder, Seigaku's tensai strained to hook the final string of Christmas lights around the curved nail sticking out from the roof. Falling down from this height would most likely result in a sprained ankle or wrist. Perhaps, if he was lucky, he might walk away with only a few scrapes and bruises. Either way, Fuji had no intention of finding out.

'_There!' _Fuji beamed triumphantly. The lights finally caught on the nail. Leaning back slightly, Fuji paused to admire his handiwork. The once barren locker room was now lavishly decorated with plenty of ornaments, stickers, bows, and basically any Christmas decorations that Fuji could get his hands on. A wreath covered in holly berries and twigs hung in the middle of the door. Shiny garland and satin ribbons bordered the doorframe. The roof was trimmed with more of the garland and strings upon strings of Christmas lights. Fuji had even gone through the trouble of securing glittery cotton from the craft store on top of the roof in order to give the impression of snow. It was a masterpiece, if he did say so himself. It was worth having to get up at five in the morning. Fuji chuckled quietly to himself. He could not wait to see the looks on the Regulars' faces when they arrived for morning practice.

Speaking of the Regulars, Fuji perked up as his sharp ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps. His lips curved up. Ah, he recognized these footsteps- the unique sure, steady, solid thumping. Fuji could literally hear the power and authority resonating every time shoe met pavement with a soft thud. There was only one person who walked with such a strong, confident gait. Spinning around gracefully, Fuji smiled welcomingly.

"Good morning, Tezuka." _'How are you today?'_

"Fuji." _'Good morning. Fine, thank you.'_

Sure enough, the tennis captain was standing right there. If Tezuka was surprised to see Fuji sitting on top of a ladder, he didn't show it. His expression was as neutral as ever. Fuji watched, curious and amused, as Tezuka's eyes took in the sight of the outlandishly decorated locker room.

"Well, what do you think, Tezuka?" _'I think it looks nice.'_

"Aa…" _'I can tell you worked hard.'_

Swinging his legs in a carefree manner, Fuji peered down. He knew Tezuka too well to expect more of a reaction. Still, it didn't hurt to try. He tilted his head to the side.

"Saa, the decorations are really pretty, don't you agree?" Fuji prodded. _'Praise me! Praise me!'_

Tezuka ignored the question, as Fuji had predicted he would. Instead, the stoic boy fastened his attention elsewhere.

"Fuji, where did you get that ladder?" _'You stole it, didn't you?'_

While his expression didn't waver, Fuji was laughing on the inside. _'So he noticed.'_

"I borrowed it," he replied casually. _'Who me? Never!' _He smiled widely, as if that would confirm his innocence. It was the truth, part of it at least. He _had_ borrowed it from the janitor's closet. Of course, the closet had been locked since it was so early in the morning. Fuji merely neglected to mention that he had picked the lock in order to get his hands on the ladder. According to Fuji's logic, he hadn't done anything wrong. Breaking and entering? It was necessary in order to benefit the tennis club, so that cancels out. What benefits could Christmas decorations bring to tennis? Well, since the decorations would bring up the holiday spirit, the members would play harder in anticipation of Christmas. Wasn't taking the ladder considered stealing? Of course not. He had borrowed it, borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back (1). Yes, Fuji was innocent in all aspects.

"Hn." _'I highly doubt that.' _Fuji knew that Tezuka was not fooled in the slightest. However, like always, Tezuka chose not to question Fuji any further. It wasn't out of politeness. It was because Tezuka would rather not know what went on in Fuji's scheming, sadistic mind.

"Fuji, get down," ordered Tezuka. "Practice will be starting in half an hour." _'It's dangerous up there.'_

"Saa, but I was having fun," Fuji protested light-heartedly. _'I won't fall, if that's what you're worried about.'_

"Get down. You're blocking the door." _'Don't let your guard down.'_

The tensai gave Tezuka a mock-pout. "I got up at five in the morning to put up Christmas decorations that you didn't even bother to comment on. And now you're ordering me around? Mou, so mean, Tezuka." _'You are worried! That's so sweet of you!"_

"_Now_, Fuji." _'I'm not joking.'_

Fuji let out an exaggerated sigh of defeat. "Alright." _'You never do.' _As he spoke, Fuji opened his eyes, revealing cobalt orbs that glimmered with mischief. "Catch me." _'Saa, you shouldn't let your guard down either.'_

Without warning, Fuji pushed off with his arms, effectively launching himself in the air. After all, Tezuka had not specified _how_ he should get down, now did he.

(A/N: Please do not try this at home :) )

Fuji experienced a few seconds of an adrenaline rush as he plummeted towards the concrete ground. The wind blew through his hair and ruffled his clothes. Then, his free fall was abruptly halted by a pair of sturdy, dependable arms, Tezuka's arms. Tezuka growled angrily.

"Fuji!" _'What were you thinking?!' _Despite the furious tone, Fuji knew that Tezuka wasn't really mad at him.

"Yes, Tezuka?" _'There was no danger. I knew you would catch me.'_

Tezuka's arms tightened their grip protectively. "Don't ever do that again!" he reprimanded. _'Don't scare me like that.'_

Smiling gently, Fuji entwined his arms around Tezuka's neck. Tezuka didn't seem to want to let go. "Saa, I won't," he promised. _'Don't worry. I trust you.'_

"Hn…"

Deciding to lighten up the mood, Fuji leaned closer to whisper in Tezuka's ear. "Ne, Tezuka?"

"Hm?"

"You make a wonderful prince."

"….." _'What?'_

"Think about it!" urged Fuji playfully. "I'm the princess trapped in the tower by the evil, ugly, purple witch." He waved a hand towards the ladder. "And you're my Prince Charming who catches me when I jump off!" _'That's a great idea, ne Tezuka?'_

"Don't talk nonsense," ordered Tezuka. _'Fuji, you're a boy. You can't be a princess.'_

Fuji shifted to make himself more comfortable in Tezuka's arms. Even though he was perfectly unharmed, Tezuka seemed intent on holding him bridal style. That was fine with Fuji. "Saa, you're no fun, Tezuka." _'But don't you think I'd look good in a dress?'_

Coughing, Tezuka chose not to comment. He lowered Fuji to the ground instead since the Regulars were arriving. Fuji caught his arm before he could leave.

"Wait, Tezuka." Tezuka paused and turned to face the tensai.

Fuji stood on tiptoe and planted a chaste kiss upon Tezuka's cheek. "A thank you to my prince for rescuing me," he explained brightly.

Tezuka turned away to hide his rising blush. "I'm not a prince," he retorted. He stalked off into the locker room.

Smiling happily, Fuji went in as well, soon followed by some of the Regulars. _'Tezuka didn't deny that he was mine,'_ thought Fuji gleefully as he changed. So it was worth getting up to rig up the decorations after all. And as his fellow teammates (namely Inui and Kaidoh) discovered the mistletoe he had hung above the door, Fuji congratulated himself on a job well done.

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A/N: (1) Anyone get the reference? I don't own whatever it came from either. Anyways, review please!


	3. Hangover

A/N: Kyaa! It rained yesterday! XD I'm so happy! Wah, I keep on forgetting to mention this. All of these chapters are oneshots. The first one is an AU when they're in their twenties, the second is when they're at Seigaku and not together yet, and this is also an AU when they're older. Sorry if there was any confusion and thank you to FujItachiHa for bringing it up. For this chapter, let's pretend that Tezuka has an impossibly low tolerance to alcohol.

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis.

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"No!"

"Yes."

"But…!"

"Fuji, I said I would do it, so I will do it."

"I know that, but…!"

Tezuka removed his glasses wearily in order to pinch the bridge of his nose. They'd been at this for the past half hour or so, and he was tired. He really admired Fuji's stubbornness, but this was getting ridiculous.

"Fuji, listen to me…"

A pair of pale and delicate hands slammed down either side of his chair's armrests. Startled, Tezuka looked up to find himself under the frustrated gaze of two ocean-blue eyes.

"Tezuka," pleaded Fuji earnestly. "I know you said that you would help me, but you don't need to. You've been working so hard this week, and I can tell that you're exhausted. You shouldn't spend your day off helping me put up the Christmas decorations. I can do that myself." He broke off his outburst, his eyes never leaving Tezuka's.

Leaning forward, Fuji rested his forehead against Tezuka's shoulder. "Tezuka," he mumbled into the soft woolen sweater. "I really appreciate that you want to keep your word, but I don't want you to. Not this time. Not when you're this tired."

Fuji circled his arms around Tezuka's neck. "So please," he said quietly, voice laced with worry. "Won't you just rest tomorrow?"

Letting out a long sigh, Tezuka reached up to pull Fuji into his lap. Once the smaller man was seated, Tezuka rubbed his hand up and down Fuji's back in a comforting gesture. He was touched by Fuji's concern, but his mind was set.

"A promise is a promise," he stated firmly. Fuji's body sagged slightly in defeat. Tezuka stopped his ministrations to grip Fuji's shoulders gently. "Fuji, look at me." His lover slowly lifted his head. Tezuka raised his left hand to Fuji's face, cupping Fuji's cheek tenderly. He made sure to look directly into those beautiful, forlorn blue eyes.

"There has been a lot of work lately," he began. "However, I really want to spend some time with you." Tezuka swallowed nervously before continuing. "Yes, I am a bit tired, but it's worth it if I can see your smile." He cringed inwardly at how cheesy and cliché his words sounded. Normally, he detested employing such flowery language, but it was important to let Fuji know how he felt. Plus, it hurt him to see Fuji looking so dejected.

"Alright then, if it makes you happy," Fuji finally conceded. Tezuka was relieved to see the smile that Fuji offered. Good, Fuji wasn't angry. Fuji removed himself from Tezuka's lap and headed to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" inquired Tezuka to Fuji's retreating back.

"I'm making hot chocolate," Fuji called over his shoulder. He disappeared behind the wall.

Fuji poured water into the kettle and turned on the stove. While he waited for the water to boil, he rummaged around the cabinets to get the ingredients.

'_Well, that didn't work,'_ pondered Fuji as he placed what he needed onto the counter. He hadn't really expected it to. Tezuka was very stubborn after all.

'_But I'm more stubborn,'_ he contemplated, bemused. Reaching deep into the cabinet, he pulled out his secret weapon. Tezuka might've believed that he'd won, but Fuji was persistent. The kettle whistled shrilly, loudly indicating that the water was ready. Using a pot holder, Fuji poured the boiling water into two mugs already prepared with cocoa powder and marshmallows. Then, he poured his secret weapon into Tezuka's tennis-themed mug.

'_Time for Plan B,'_ Fuji thought impishly as he carried both mugs back to where Tezuka was seated in the living room.

"Tezuka," he said sweetly. "Here."

Generally, Tezuka didn't like anything sweet. Even so, he still took the offered mug. It was better not to aggravate Fuji any further, he reasoned. Because of that, he failed to notice that Fuji's smile was a bit too cheerful to be innocent. Neither did he notice how Fuji's eyes watched him intently as he started drinking. It tasted a bit strange, he mused. Strange, but not unpleasant. Then again, it was Fuji who made it.

By the time he had drained the last drop, Tezuka was feeling a bit funny. His head buzzed and he couldn't think straight. He stood up unsteadily; nearly fell flat on his face. He grabbed the chair just in time to avoid a face plant on the carpet.

"Tezuka, are you okay?" Fuji sounded so far away. And the ringing in Tezuka's ears didn't help at all.

"I'm going to bed," Tezuka tried to say. Strangely, it came out sounding very slurred and jumbled. Fuji seemed to get the point though.

"I'll help you." Fuji grabbed Tezuka's arm and aided him to their bedroom. Tezuka staggered to the bed and collapsed onto the mattress. Why was he feeling so sleepy all of a sudden? His eyelids lowered against his will. He faintly registered Fuji tucking the blankets around him. Was Fuji saying something?

"Sorry, Tezuka," apologized Fuji with a wry smile on his face. "This is for your own good." He watched Tezuka fall asleep almost immediately. Not surprising, considering how much wine Fuji had mixed with Tezuka's hot chocolate. It wasn't fair to take advantage of Tezuka's incredibly low tolerance to alcohol, but it had to be done. Fuji crawled under the blankets to curl up against Tezuka's prone form.

Tezuka groaned as he fought his way back to consciousness. Why were there nuclear bombs exploding in his and Fuji's bedroom? He cracked open one heavy eyelid and shut it immediately. Apparently they had moved to the sun as well.

"Saa, you're awake." Tezuka winced at how loud Fuji was speaking.

"Fuji, there's no need to yell," croaked Tezuka. "I can hear you."

"Oh, sorry," whispered Fuji as softly as he could. He did his best to muffle his chuckles. Tezuka was so cute when he had a hangover. He stared, amused, as Tezuka fumbled for his glasses.

Tezuka breathed in and out slowly, trying to quell the wave of nausea rolling through him. "You…gave me alcohol…didn't you," he accused weakly. If he had been tired before, it was nothing compared to now.

"Yes," admitted Fuji. Tezuka was a bit irked that Fuji barely sounded guilty. In fact, he sounded almost smug. "I had to knock you out somehow."

Squinting, Tezuka tried to make out the numbers on his alarm clock. Doing this only added to his headache, so he gave up. "What time is it?"

"About noon," answered Fuji evenly. "I'm surprised it's not later." Fuji handed Tezuka a glass of water and a small bottle. "Here, it's a hangover remedy I bought from the Green Drugstore. The two guys working there and one of the male customers recommended the 'S' type. They all said it's really effective." (1)

"Thanks," muttered Tezuka, as loud as the exploding bombs in his head would allow. He gulped down the medicine and water quickly, sighing as he felt the bombs quiet down. He set the empty glass and bottle on the bedside table and lay back down. His head still hurt too much to get up. "So you put everything up already?"

"Yeah," nodded Fuji. "But that's a good thing."

Resting a hand on aching forehead, Tezuka asked how that was so.

"Well," said Fuji thoughtfully. "First of all, you can now spend the rest of the day in bed. I think you'll need it to get rid of that hangover." Tezuka nodded slowly in agreement. The medicine really was effective, but he could still feel some of the symptoms.

"And second?" Tezuka prompted.

Fuji grinned. "And second," he repeated after Tezuka. "Second, I've been dying to try on my nurse outfit."

Tezuka sat up abruptly…and immediately regretted it when the action set off another round of nuclear bombs. He clutched his throbbing head as he tried to talk. "What nurse outfit?" he managed to choke out.

"Saa, I'm glad you asked," said Fuji brightly. He began to ramble on about how he found it on a website that Oshitari had suggested he try. Tezuka squeezed his eyes shut tightly in a futile attempt to ward off a headache. How long did Fuji intend to prattle? The bombs were coming back, louder than ever.

"He also told me that Gakuto loves the French maid one, so I was thinking that I'd buy that for the next time we…"

"…Fuji?"

"Yes?"

"…Wear…nurse outfit…"

"My my, you're very kinky today, ne Tezuka? But if you insist, I'll change right away."

"…Just…don't talk a lot…okay?"

"Oh, okay."

xX Owari Xx

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A/N: At the beginning, even though Fuji really was worried, some of that was part of Plan A to make Tezuka not keep his promise.  
I can't drink, so I looked up the symptoms on Wikipedia :D  
(1) Can anyone guess what two manga that's refering to? Big hint: CLAMP owns both of them.  
Why the random Dirty Pair? I needed a couple that was kinky and that was the first pairing chocolate-fondue named :D  
I think that's about it. Thank you for reading and please review! Now, off to start my math homework T.T


	4. Sending Christmas Cards

A/N: Well, at least I managed to post something on Christmas Day, even if it isn't Christmas morning :) Read and review please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis

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Winter break is the time for rest and relaxation. Students dream of those precious two weeks, and salivate at the thought of no school. Yet, seven boys were currently at Seishun Academy, huddled inside the club room. And those seven crazy enough to waste a perfectly wonderful day of vacation at school were none other than Seigaku's Regulars.

"Nyaa, I wanna go home," whined Eiji as he bounced up and down in his seat impatiently. "We've been waiting since forever!"

"It hasn't been that long, Taka pointed out timidly, checking his watch. "We only got here fifteen minutes ago." He pulled out a large box from his bag. "Sushi, anyone?"

Momo and Ryoma both dove for the food, nearly crashing into each other in the process. Everyone else opted to stay in their seats, seeing as the sushi would probably be gone by the time those two were done eating. Sure enough, within a few minutes, not even a single grain of rice remained.

"Man," groaned Momo as he sat back down. "It really sucks that we have to be here. I mean, come on! No one goes to school during winter break, and here we are, sitting around like a bunch of idiots."

"Fsssh, it's probably something important," hissed Kaidoh. He fiddled around with his bandana. "And you're the idiot here."

Momo knocked over his chair as he stood up quickly, stomping over to where Kaidoh was seated. He grabbed a handful of shirt and yanked the snake-like boy up. "What'd you call me?!" he hollered.

Kaidoh knocked aside the offending hand and stuck his face into Momo's. "Fsssh, apparently, you're deaf as well!"

"Stupid viper!"

"Idiot peach-head!"

Ryoma tugged on the brim of his cap. "Mada mada dane," he grumbled irritably, slouching down in his chair.

"Now you guys, this isn't the time for fighting," pleaded Oishi. He had also jumped out of his seat in order to stop the argument. Even though everyone had long since gotten used to the "friendly" bickering, the mother-hen of Seigaku still fussed over it. Oishi looked around for some assistance. "Tezuka?"

The tennis captain had been sitting as still as a statue since he'd arrived. Crossing his arms, he glared at his two shouting teammates. "Momoshiro, Kaidoh, twenty laps if you don't stop," he threatened. They both clamped their mouths shut immediately and slunk back to their seats, not wanting to incur Tezuka's wrath.

And so there they were, as Momo so kindly put it, sitting around like a bunch of idiots. There were nine chairs in the room. Someone, probably Inui, had arranged the chairs in a circle. A desk stood in the center of the ring of chairs, a locked metal box resting on top of it. Because the box belonged to Inui (the engraved I-N-U-I on the side made that quite clear), no one dared touch it in fear that it might explode. Since this was Inui, it was possible. Speaking of which, Inui had yet to show up, despite the fact that he was the one who called for the gathering.

The door to the club room creaked open and then slammed shut, soon followed by the soft pattering sound of footsteps. Perking up, the Regulars turned around eagerly. Expecting to see spiky black hair and square glasses, they were sadly disappointed by the sight of honey brown hair and permanently closed eyes.

"Saa, sorry I'm late," apologized Fuji as he walked in. "Nee-san forgot to pick me up, so I had to run here."

The Regulars glanced skeptically at Fuji's neat clothes, pale cheeks, and bright smile. They shrugged, deciding to let it pass. There was no point in contradicting the tensai after all.

"Come sit down, Fujiko," called Eiji, bouncing in his seat once again.

"Alright," agreed Fuji, chuckling. He sauntered into the circle and casually settled himself in Tezuka's lap.

"Fuji," warned an annoyed Tezuka. He glared at his snickering teammates. Tezuka discreetly attempted to shove Fuji away, but to no avail. Despite his small size, the tensai refused to budge and instead latched himself onto Tezuka more firmly. "Go sit somewhere else," Tezuka ordered half-heartedly. He gave up trying to push Fuji off his lap.

"But Mitsu," purred Fuji, setting off another round of laughter. "I _like_ my seat." He batted his eyelashes seductively, allowing Tezuka to see flashes of glimmering blue. Snaking his arms around the captain's neck, Fuji moved even closer. "Besides," he whispered. "Don't you want me to warm up your lap?" He flicked his tongue playfully at Tezuka's earlobe.

"Stop that," commanded Tezuka unconvincingly. He tried to lean away as far as possible, but didn't get very far, held tight by Fuji's arms. "And don't call me that," he added a few seconds later.

"Don't call you what, Mitsu?" teased Fuji. The Regulars chortled, not even bothering to hide their amusement.

Tezuka opened his mouth, but was interrupted by the sound of the door slamming. Inui came in, making a beeline for the metal box. "Thank you for coming everyone," he said as he fiddled with some of the locks. "I apologize for being late."

"What's the big idea, Inui-senpai?" asked Momo, tipping his chair back. He raised his voice in order to be heard over the many locks falling onto the desk. "You called us in on winter break and you don't even tell us-" He broke off his rant to stare suspiciously at the desk in the middle of the chairs. "What is that…thing?"

Inui stepped back to let the Regulars admire his…thing. "This," he announced proudly, gesturing to the…thing, "is my latest invention." He gave the…thing an affectionate pat. A chunk of metal fell to the floor with a loud clang, and something inside the…thing rattled ominously. Inui let out an awkward cough. "Ah, don't worry about that. It wasn't really important." Several more parts broke off as he spoke.

"Nyaa, what does it do?" inquired Eiji curiously. He resisted the temptation to poke the…thing.

Clearing his throat, Inui spoke up again. "As you know, it is my duty to collect information on our competition," he began.

"Not just the competition either," muttered Ryoma under his breath. He cracked open a can of Ponta, pretending he had not spoken. Inui continued to speak as if he hadn't heard Ryoma's comment.

"Since it's during the holidays, I concluded that they will have let their guards down. Therefore, it was the perfect time to gather data." Inui waved his hand at his…thing again. "And that is what this is for."

"It looks…interesting," offered Taka hesitantly. "But what does it do?" Inui ignored him.

"A few weeks ago, I sent out some Christmas cards to our two biggest rivals: Hyoutei and Rikkai."

"That's so thoughtful," exclaimed Oishi. "We should have sent cards to all of the schools we played. Did you do that?" Inui kept right on talking.

"In those cards, I have stealthily concealed a listening device. Of course, they would have been discovered immediately. That's why I sent them singing Christmas cards."

"Hey, that's pretty cool, Inui-senpai!" Momo's praise went unacknowledged.

"If there's a listening device, there must be a receiver of some kind, and that is exactly what this…thing is," Inui concluded smugly. Kaidoh raised his hand, just like he would in school. "Yes, Kaidoh?"

"Fssh, so you're saying that you sent them Christmas cards so you could record whatever they said?" Kaidoh asked, interested.

Inui's glasses flashed, pleased that someone was taking him seriously. "Yes, anything that they say- special training methods, secret techniques, or even personal weaknesses." An impressed murmur ran around the room. However, Tezuka remained unmoved.

"This is unethical," said Tezuka tersely. His glasses glinted with disapproval. "I refuse to take part in this." He made to get up, but found himself incapable of moving anywhere.

"Mitsu," protested Fuji. What weight he had effectively prevented Tezuka from escaping. "Inui worked hard to build that…thing. It would be a shame to let his efforts go to waste." Fuji opened his blue eyes to stare at Tezuka pleadingly. "And it would be their fault for letting their guards down, right?"

"…Don't call me that."

Triumphantly, Fuji turned around. "Saa, let's hear what you have for us, Inui."

Inui poked at a few hidden buttons and fiddled with some knobs. "I haven't listened to them yet," Inui cautioned, sitting down on the chair next to Kaidoh. "I don't know what's on them, but the first one is Hyoutei."

"Wait," interjected Ryoma, sipping his Ponta. "How does it know when to start recording?"

Inui's gaze never left his precious…thing. "It starts recording the second the card is opened," he explained absently. "It stops after about an hour. Now shush, I think it's starting."

Static crackled loudly before voices could be heard.

"Well well, what do we have here? A singing Christmas card? How quaint. Ore-sama recall getting them as a kid, remember Kabaji?" Atobe's haughty voice filled the room.

"Usu," came the predictable grunt.

"Che, what's with the ugly design? Geki dasa daze. They could've at least chosen a better one to send us. Man, whoever chose this has horrible taste."

"But Shishido-san, they were nice enough to send us something. I don't think it's a good idea to offend the card."

"Seriously, Choutarou, would you really like to receive a card that has pictures of glasses of juice on it?

"Well, no…"

The Regulars turned to stare at Inui in bewilderment. "Juice?" asked Momo incredulously. "You sent a card with pictures of your juice?"

"Yes," grumbled Inui sulkily. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." He was a bit hurt that Shishido had insulted his precious creations.

"Ha! I bet that Kikumaru chose this! After all, it matches his horrible so-called acrobatics skills!"

Eiji let out an indignant yowl. "Nyaa! My acrobatic skills don't suck! His do!" Oishi patted his partner's back comfortingly.

"Now, Mukahi," Oshitari's smooth, sexy drawl interrupted Eiji's protests. "I don't think he chose the card. It's probably from Inui."

"Darn it," muttered Inui.

"Gekokujou. Let's send something to show them what a real Christmas card looks like."

"It's not worth Ore-sama's time or money, Hiyoshi." A loud clapping followed Atobe's words. "Now, let's get back to practice!"

"Hai!"

The Regulars leaned forward eagerly. It was coming. Inui's hand trembled over his notebook, ready to take down notes.

"Alright, let's start out with-" A loud rumbling noise drowned out Atobe's orders. The Regulars looked at each other, confused. Standing up, Inui flipped a few switches on his…thing, but nothing worked. The thundering sound continued to cover up whatever the Hyoutei captain was saying. Inui even dared to smack the…thing a few times. His actions only caused the deep, echoing sound to grow louder.

"How…unexpected," Fuji commented. He toyed with a few strands of Tezuka's hair. Tezuka tried to bat away Fuji's hands, but Fuji successfully evaded Tezuka's feeble attempts.

"Ah, maybe we should just move on to Rikkai," suggested Oishi helpfully.

"I don't understand," mumbled Inui as he sat back down. "It should've worked perfectly…" He quieted down.

"Ah, it's a Christmas card from Seigaku." The Regulars could tell from the person's gentle tone that it was Yukimura. "That's so considerate of them, don't you think, Sanada?"

"Hn…"

"Hey, can I see that, Yukimura-Buchou?"

"Of course you may, Kirihara. Here you go."

"Ha ha ha! You've gotta be kidding! This is the ugliest card I've ever seen!" Inui made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob.

"Kirihara, you shouldn't make fun of other people's tastes. It's not polite."

"Aww, come on, Yagyuu. The brat's got a point. That thing really is ugly." Inui made the funny sobbing sound again.

"I'm not a brat!"

"In case you're interested, Niou, there's a 100 percent chance that Inui sent it." If he had an emo corner, Inui would have long since retreated there.

"Who cares who sent it, Yanagi? More importantly, did they send anything with it? Like sweets?"

"Bunta, you shouldn't eat so many sweets. It's not healthy."

"You can never have enough sugar, Jackal!"

"Stop making so much noise."

"Now now, Sanada. It's almost time for Christmas. Let them have their fun."

"Hn…"

"By the way, everyone, I think we're long overdue for our…group training."

"Group training? All right!"

"Yay, we haven't done that in a while!"

"Great idea, Yukimura!"

The Regulars sat up straighter. Even Inui perked up. Now it was starting to get interesting. Fuji was leaning so far forward that Tezuka had to wrap his arm around Fuji's waist to keep them both from falling.

"Mmm…."

"Ohhh…."

"Ahhh…."

Seigaku's Regulars raised their eyebrows at each other. This was…interesting, to say the least. They certainly weren't expecting such strange noises.

"Ohhh…Genichirou…you certainly…Ah... know how to….Ahh!...turn me on…"

"…Seiichi…Nnnn…"

The Regulars shifted uneasily in their seats. What was going on?

"…H-hey, did you…Mmm…bring the lube, Yanagi-senpai?"

"Patience, Kirihara….everyone will get some…."

Everyone's eyes widened in horror as understanding slowly dawned on them. The panting, groans, and gasping gradually increased in volume.

"Are you ready, _Niou_?"

"Oooh, how very kinky, _Yagyuu_. Go for it….ahhh…"

Inui lunged frantically at the…thing. Momo tried to cover Ryoma's ears much too late. Ryoma's Ponta dripped steadily onto his shirt, but the youngest member didn't even notice for he was too busy gawking at the…thing. Oishi had his hands clamped over his ears and eyes squeezed tightly shut as though that would block out the sounds.

"I must say, Bunta, you're even sweeter than all that sugar you consume…Mmmm…"

"…Ohhh…lick me, Jackal…Nnnn…you know you want to…"

Stabbing his finger randomly, Inui finally managed turn the…thing off, but not before one last breathy sigh sounded out. Both Taka and Eiji's faces burned a fiery shade of red. Kaidoh lay flat on the floor, having passed out once he realized what was going on. Inui's hands trembled as he closed the lid of the metal box and shakily snapped all of the locks shut.

"Well, that was interesting," Fuji remarked nonchalantly to a completely rigid Tezuka. "Maybe we can try some of that group training someday, ne Tezuka? It seems to work for Rikkai."

Tezuka wrenched his frozen mouth open. "Inui, fifty laps. Everyone, go home."

"H-hai." Inui stumbled out the door, dragging his…thing behind him. The rest of them followed him, dazed, dragging Kaidoh along with them.

"Fuji…"

"Hmm?"

"Get off, now."

"Saa, fine. Only because you say so."

"Aa…"

"Are you sure you don't want to try that group training? It sounded very effective. I'll be your partner if you want."

"Fuji!"

"Walk me home, okay?"

"....."

And after that disastrous shot at spying, the Regulars vowed never to try it again. They had learned their lesson. It was better to spend their holidays ignorant than scarred for life.

* * *

Omake #1: Three weeks ago...

Akutagawa Jirou yawned sleepily. What was the big fuss about some Christmas card? He stifled yet another yawn. Maybe he should get some rest before they started practice. Kei-chan wouldn't mind. He never did. Jirou stretched his arms over his head before lying down on the bench, right next to the card from Seigaku. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. A little nap wouldn't hurt. Jirou's eyelids fluttered shut as he slowly drifted off to sleep. One sheep...two sheep.....three.......sheep.........

* * *

Omake #2: Two weeks ago...

Even though Marui was considered the tensai of Rikkai, he wasn't the only smart person there. Take Niou Masaharu. The Trickster was much more intelligent than he appeared to be. For example, the supposed Christmas card that Seigaku had sent. Because he had arrived early today, Niou was the one to receive the card. He could tell immediately from the weight of the card that it was no ordinary one. It was much too heavy, even for a singing Christmas card. Within minutes, Niou had concluded that there was probably some kind of listening or recording device hidden in the card. Well, he thought to himself, might as well have some fun with it. He was the Trickster after all. Sprawling comfortably on an empty bench, Niou opened up the card. Clearing his throat softly, he raised his voice to match Yukimura's higher one. "Ah, it's a Christmas card from Seigaku," he mimicked perfectly. He grinned inwardly as he went on to imitate the rest of his teammates. Now let's see how long they'll last, he thought, smirking as he moaned loudly and erotically into the card. It'll teach them to mess with Rikkai...

xX Owari Xx

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A/N: It was an interesting day today. It rained, and then it was sunny, and then it rained again O.o I guess that's the closest we'll ever get to snow. Ah well... Not a bad stash this year. Mostly candy and money, but it's the thought that counts, right? :) Because I don't feel like doing anything Christmasy after Christmas, I'll be picking up the fic next December (sorry to disappoint). Until then, Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone!


	5. Five Months of Bills

A/N: I'm back at long last, and so is this story! Thank you so much for your patience; so without further ado, here's the fifth pain of Christmas ^.^

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.

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A vein pulsated at the side of Tezuka's head as the stoic boy's bespectacled eyes reluctantly drew in the horrific scene before him. Now here was a sight for sore eyes. Bright colors were splattered everywhere- on the walls and on the windows- leaving no square inch of space uncovered. The contents of the trash cans, stuffed full far beyond their capacity, spilled over the sides like water flowing down the rocky edge of a cliff. The debris littered the surrounding floor, constantly getting kicked around and trampled upon by the hasty feet of people running around as though their lives depended on it. So many objects dangled from the ceiling; some were drooping limply while others swung pathetically by the blast of air conditioning. The enormous human-shaped figure hung directly in the middle of the ceiling-lifeless, but rocking back and forth inch by agonizingly slow inch due to the cords that held it up and ostentatiously displayed for all to see. The sick, nauseating smell of the place alone was enough to make one gag; it clung to every particle of clothing and seeped through every pore of the body. And the screaming. God, all the screaming…so loud…so overwhelming. The worst of those came from the wailing mouths of the young children. Their shrill cries pierced through the hysterical cacophony like a sharp knife stabbing through skin and flesh.

Tezuka squeezed his eyes shut tightly, wishing with all of his might that this nightmare would just disappear on its own. He even tried discreetly pinching himself in hopes that it would help. It didn't, but he would receive a lovely bruise the next day as a consolation prize for his efforts. When Tezuka finally opened his eyes again, he was slightly disappointed, though not surprised, to find that everything was pretty much as terrible as before- surfaces still covered with color, people still running, figure still dangling, smell still revolting, and children still screaming. The headache developing was growing steadily worse with each passing second.

If there ever was a hell on Earth, Tezuka decided, surely it must be the mall.

He failed to see the appeal of the place with its overpriced items and superfluous amount of stores. Seriously, at least twenty different stores for clothing alone and all inconveniently placed at opposite ends of the mall? Just one would be more than sufficient. The mall was bad enough during regular days when teenagers flocked to this so-called haven of luxury in herds to empty out fat wallets, chill with friends, or take advantage of the free AC. Why would anyone want to spend their precious free time cooped up inside a huge building and wasting their money when they could be outside in the glorious sun and fresh air playing tennis? The world could be a funny place sometimes, Tezuka reasoned.

And although the mall could at worst be called bothersome under normal circumstances, come the holidays, it was nothing short of one hundred percent pure undiluted chaos. The neon flyers plastered upon the walls and windows made Tezuka's eyes water. Even when he blinked, the afterimages remained burned into his retinas. A woman ran past him, frantically yelling into her cell phone about some sale, kicking and stumbling over the balled up wrapping paper and crushed boxes that didn't make it into the trash cans. The gigantic, inflatable Santa Claus hanging from the ceiling, surrounded by dangling ornaments, grinned at Tezuka in a creepy, maniacal, doped-up way that caused Tezuka to wonder if the Christmas icon had once spent time in a mental asylum. The smell permeating from every store didn't make matters any better. Tezuka was all for the winter scents of pine trees and candy canes, but only when it was moderate amounts. Here, the smell was so strong and sickeningly sweet that Tezuka was tempted to ditch his stoic expression to wrinkle his nose. And the worst part? Definitely the kids. They just would not shut up. They kept on screaming and complaining about how they wanted this or that toy, demanding to see Santa, and throwing impromptu tantrums when they couldn't get their way. Whine, whine, whine. Tezuka sincerely hoped that he wasn't such a brat when he was little.

"It's not the end of the world, Tezuka." Tezuka glanced to his left to find Fuji smiling at him. "So you don't have to look like it is." Even as he said those words, the smaller boy slipped his hand into Tezuka's and gave a comforting squeeze.

Letting out a tiny sigh, Tezuka relaxed the slightest at the sight of that sweet, familiar smile and the feel of that warm, slender hand. "I know," was his short response. He pulled Fuji closer, protectively, as a group of shoppers came barreling past them.

Fuji looks around to see if anyone is watching. When he confirmed that the other shoppers were much too engrossed in fighting their way into stores, he quickly pecked Tezuka on the lips in thanks. "Now," Fuji said as he smiled more widely, "let's get this Christmas shopping over with." Blushing faintly, Tezuka followed Fuji into the elaborate labyrinth known as the mall.

Their first stop was the crafts store, where Fuji examined several different designs of tissue paper. Tezuka suggested just buying the red and green package, but Fuji insisted that tissue paper, like presents, needed to be chosen carefully and with regards to the receiver. Tezuka therefore spent his time fending an unsuspecting Fuji off from potential fangirls visiting the store.

"Shouldn't we have waited for Yumiko-san?" questioned Tezuka as he glared at a couple of girls lurking behind the shelves. Their squeals abruptly turned into terrified squeaks, and they darted away to the safety of Aisle 3.

"Nee-san?" Fuji obliviously compared two packets of tissue paper, one with a reindeer design and another with teddy bears. "Not unless you want to act as a decoy again," reminded Fuji. He placed the teddy bear tissue paper back on the shelf and picked up one with a bunch of dancing Santa Claus printed on it.

"Ah." Tezuka sent some more girls scurrying as he recalled their last Christmas shopping experience. Like this year, Yumiko had generously driven them to the mall. However, before they could go anywhere, she had dragged them with her to her favorite lingerie store and strategically positioned them near the entrance. She then waltzed in and shopped to her heart's content while all the females that were previously inside had rushed out to fawn over the two bishies lounging picturesquely next to a Christmas tree. It was one of the most traumatic incidents of Tezuka's young life.

In the end, Fuji chose the design of penguins playing tennis (where he'd found it, Tezuka had no idea). Fuji purchased several packages of the tissue paper along with numerous spools of green and red ribbon. Tezuka gladly followed him out of the store and away from the intense, crestfallen glances of disappointed fangirls.

"Fuji."

The tensai paused in the midst of his humming. "Hmm?"

"How many people are you planning to give presents to?" Tezuka didn't want to pry, but he was really surprised at how much Fuji had bought from just one store.

"Oh, not that many," Fuji answered casually. He shifted all of his bags onto one arm. He used his other hand to dig around his jacket pocket. When his hand finally reemerged, Fuji was holding a scroll of white paper tied by a red cord. He handed the scroll to Tezuka. "I made a list," he explained upon seeing the captain's raised eyebrows.

Tezuka untied the cord and the scroll unrolled…and unrolled…and unrolled. The bottom of the list skimmed the floor by the time it had straightened out. He gave Fuji a look. "Not that many?"

"Not at all," dismissed Fuji breezily. "Besides, Christmas is the season of giving." He started walking again, and Tezuka quickly caught up lest he be left behind.

Tezuka ran his eyes down the list as they navigated their way through the crowd. A few of the names he recognized, like Tachibana Kippei and Yukimura Seiichi. However, other names like Atobe Keigo and Akutsu Jin also appeared on the list, much to his bewilderment. In addition, Tezuka didn't even recognize some of names. "Who's Kisarazu Ryou?"

"Ah, he's a player from Rokkaku." Upon seeing no recognition on Tezuka's face, Fuji added, "He has a twin brother who plays for St. Rudolph."

Tezuka still didn't remember, but he decided to take Fuji's word for it. After several minutes of walking and looking through the list, Tezuka was able to recognize enough names to realize that the list contained the tennis players from all of the schools that they played. He also realized exactly how many people there were in all.

"Fuji, are you buying gifts for everyone?"

Fuji turned around, an amused smile on his lips. "Yes, that's why they're on the list."

Tezuka frowned at the paper and rolled it back up. "Do you even know them?"

Tilting his head to the side, Fuji pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Not really," he cheerfully replied, much to Tezuka's dismay. He flitted into the department store before Tezuka could disapprovingly comment on just how expensive Fuji's Christmas shopping was going to be.

As confused as Tezuka was with Fuji's whimsical decision to buy gifts for random people, he was even more confused when Fuji confidently headed straight to the Grills & Outdoor Cooking section. Tezuka stared dumbfounded as Fuji merrily grabbed a large bag of charcoal and proceeded to the buy only that. It wasn't until they had left the store with Tezuka lugging the charcoal bag (he'd chivalrously insisted) did Tezuka have an epiphany as to what Fuji was up to.

"You're giving them a lump of coal," he stated flatly.

"Now, Tezuka," admonished Fuji, "where's your Christmas spirit?" He smiled angelically. "I'm giving them a present, a small token of my appreciation for playing against us." Fuji didn't add _'and losing'_, but Tezuka heard it loud and clear nevertheless. Even though a miniscule part of Tezuka's inner child cheered Fuji along for rubbing it in their opponents' faces, his dominant and mature personality immediately crushed those outrageous thoughts. He had a reputation to maintain after all.

And as much as he loved his tensai, Tezuka was not looking forward to the phone calls he would be getting from the offended captains on the day after Christmas.

xXxOwarixXx

* * *

A/N: I'll do my best to get the next chapter up by Sunday. Hope you enjoyed this!


	6. Facing My Inlaws

A/N: And already, December is upon us. Shame on me for not writing anything new and not reading/reviewing fics, but I did manage to get this chapter and the next one done. Better than nothing? *laughs sheepishly*

Disclaimer: I don't own PoT.

* * *

Tezuka pressed his index finger against the doorbell. From inside the house, he could hear a faint ringing sound, so he stepped back and waited patiently. He tucked his hands into his coat pockets, his slightly numb fingers loosening at the warmth of the inner lining. Tezuka was somewhat glad that his mom had insisted on driving him here. He didn't get the extra exercise from walking, but at least he wasn't completely freezing.

Several seconds later, the sound of pounding feet reached Tezuka's ears. The front door flung open with an almighty bang that knocked some snow off the roof. "Mizuki-san! What are you doing here so early?" Instead of the smiling tensai he'd been expecting, Tezuka was instead welcomed by said tensai's currently panicking little brother who was wearing teddy bear pajamas.

Yuuta blinked his grey eyes in surprise. "Oh, Tezuka-san." He sounded both disappointed and relieved to find that the person on the other side of the door wasn't wearing anything neon purple. A red-faced Yuuta jumped behind the door. "Please come in," he said politely while trying to hide his state of dress. Not that Tezuka was going to comment on it. He'd been there the day Fuji spontaneously decided to buy them as a present. "A cute set of pajamas for my cute little brother," were Fuji's exact words when Tezuka questioned him.

Tezuka stepped into the house, hanging his coat on the coat rack as he removed his shoes. Yuuta, having closed the door, edged his way to the stairs, clearly torn between being hospitable and running to his room to change. "Aniki's upstairs. Do you want me to go get him?" Yuuta offered upon seeing Tezuka look around. Before Tezuka could reply, a new voice popped up behind Yuuta.

"No need for that," Fuji declared cheerfully, his face right next to Yuuta's. Yuuta yelped and jerked away. Unfortunately, he didn't get far away enough for Fuji was able to lean over and plant a kiss on Yuuta's cheek. "Thank you for letting Tezuka in." Fuji beamed at his younger brother, completely ignoring the latter's spastic arm waving.

"Aniki!" yelped Yuuta. He scrubbed furiously at the spot with the cuff of his pajamas. "Stop doing that!" Tezuka wondered briefly if he should inform Yuuta that the red splotch resulting from all the scrubbing only served to draw more attention to his cheek.

"Doing what?" Fuji skipped down the rest of the stairs to Tezuka's side. He smiled at his fuming younger brother. "Thanking you?" The tensai let out an exaggerated sigh. "Well, if you insist-"

"Not that!" Yuuta scowled. Tezuka could feel some happy vibes coming from Fuji, no doubt because of how "adorable" Yuuta looked when he was mad and wearing the teddy bear pajamas. "The kissing part! Save that for Tezuka-san!"

Fuji smiled cattily. Tezuka had a bad feeling about that look, and he was right. Fuji draped his arms around Tezuka's neck and leaned in close, too close for Tezuka's liking given the current situation. Even Yuuta was shifting uncomfortably. "You mean like this?" Fuji purred as he slowly and seductively licked Tezuka's cheek. Tezuka flinched slightly at the sudden feel of Fuji's wet and warm tongue caressing his skin, but didn't draw away. Yuuta, on the other hand, wasn't taking the PDA too well.

"ANIKI!" From the looks of it, the poor boy's mind had pretty much exploded. His face turned an interesting shade of red. Yuuta made a few spluttering noises before giving up and stomping away to his room, all the while ranting about how stupid older brothers should keep certain things in the bedroom and stop trying to mentally scar their younger brothers for life.

"You shouldn't provoke him like that," Tezuka admonished half-heartedly, wiping his cheek with his sleeve.

Fuji chuckled lightly. He untangled his arms from Tezuka's neck and peeled himself off of the taller boy. "Saa, he's so fun to tease sometimes. I can't help it," Fuji said, casting a fond glance towards Yuuta's bedroom before turning back to Tezuka. "Come on." Grabbing Tezuka's hand, Fuji laced their fingers together and led Tezuka towards the dining room.

Tezuka bit back a groan. He had a hunch on what was going to happen next. "We're not going to the living room?" he asked, dread growing with each step. "We can wait for Yuuta's guest there." Tezuka took great care not to say a certain Mizuki Hajime's name. There was no reason to put Fuji in a bad mood before Mizuki even arrived. As it was, Fuji's smile temporarily grew bigger and scarier at the mere mention of St. Rudolph's manager.

"Nope." Fuji dragged Tezuka to the chair at the head of the dining table. He waved his free arm at the rows and rows of small dishes set out before them. "Nee-san wants you to test out some of her new or improved recipes," he said.

Darn, his suspicions were correct after all. Tezuka stared in dismay at the army of food confronting him. 'Some' was an understatement. Yumiko had truly outdone herself this time.

Fuji's face entered his line of vision. "What's the matter?" he asked, tilting his head curiously. "I thought you like nee-san's cooking."

Resigning to the inevitable, Tezuka pulled out the chair, its legs scraping against the tiled floor. "I do like it," he assured Fuji. "It's just," he cast a reluctant glance at the abundance of food samples, "a bit much."

The tensai regarded the miniature feast and hummed in agreement. "And you'll be full when it's time for dinner," Fuji finished Tezuka's thought. He smiled sympathetically at Tezuka, absently swinging their joined hands back and forth. "I'll ask nee-san to not work her Royal Food Tester so hard next time.

Nodding his thanks, Tezuka untangled his fingers from Fuji's, sat down, and picked up the pair of chopsticks laid out for him. He drew the nearest dish closer and prepared to dig in.

_Ding dong._ "Hello? Anyone home?" Yumiko's muffled voice carried all the way to the dining room. A dull thump followed her words.

"Saved by Yumiko herself," thought Tezuka. He gladly set down the chopsticks and pushed himself out of the chair to follow Fuji to the front door.

Yumiko looked up momentarily when they opened the door. "Ah, Syusuke, Tezuka-kun," she greeted distractedly, hand digging around in her purse. Huffing, she withdrew her hand and brushed a wayward strand of hair out of her face. "I can't find my house keys," she explained.

"Maybe you dropped them near the driver's seat," Fuji suggested. He stepped forward to relieve his sister of the grocery bags slung on the arm on which her purse hung.

"Maybe," Yumiko concurred, relinquishing the bags. "I'll go check."

Tezuka started to bend down to pick up the large sack of rice Yumiko had dropped by her feet, but she stopped him by tapping a manicured finger against his chest.

"Not so fast, Tezuka-kun. Just leave this to Syusuke. I need you to give me feedback on those dishes." She lightly pushed him into the house. Shrugging helplessly, Fuji transferred the straps of the grocery bags to his elbows and hoisted up the rice before making his way toward the kitchen.

"Oh, and could you put the cookies into the oven?" she requested to Fuji's retreating back. "Set the timer to twelve minutes."

"Got it." Fuji disappeared around the corner.

Reluctantly, Tezuka headed back to the dining room where he managed to work through the first two rows of delicious samples by the time Fuji finished putting away the groceries and wandered in. Tezuka raised an eyebrow at the extra pair of chopsticks in Fuji's hand.

Fuji grinned and perched himself on the edge of the table. "I've come to offer my empty stomach, seeing as you probably can't finish all of this by yourself," proclaimed Fuji, patting the aforementioned abdomen.

Tezuka gratefully handed over a dish. "It's amazing that you can eat Yumiko-san's cooking everyday and not gain weight," he commented, his fingers brushing softly against Fuji's.

Chuckling, Fuji leaned over to gently knock their foreheads together. "Well, a certain tennis captain sees to it that I run enough laps so it won't happen," he teased, cerulean eyes twinkling brightly as he drew away.

The two boys demolished the next three rows of saucers within a matter of minutes with Fuji devouring two of the three rows by himself. They were about to start on the next line when the doorbell rang and the timer buzzed simultaneously. Russet eyes met blue ones. "I'll take the door and you take the cookies?" proposed Fuji. Tezuka nodded, and they went off to their respective locations.

Tezuka tugged on some kitchen mitts, opened the oven door, and carefully withdrew two thin metal trays from the heated interior. The scent of chocolate chip cookies wafted up his nose, and Tezuka resisted the urge to lick his lips. As tempting as Yumiko's cookies fresh out of the oven were, he still had much more sampling to do.

He set the cookie sheets down on the counter and shook off the mitts. If Yumiko was still looking for her keys, he would come back in a few minutes to move the cookies onto the cooling racks.

There was a loud thud from the front door's direction just as Tezuka stepped into the dining room. The tennis captain frowned slightly and stuck his head into the hallway. "Fuji," he called, slightly worried. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Fuji's voice drifted back. Tezuka's eyebrows drew closer together. For some reason, Fuji sounded slightly out of breath. "I'll be there in a minute," Fuji promised over the nearly inaudible noise of something being dragged across the floor.

Still a bit troubled, Tezuka returned to his seat and mechanically drew another miniature dish toward him. He mentally scolded himself for his paranoia when Fuji ambled in some moments later appearing, oddly enough, quite pleased.

"You sure everything's alright?" Tezuka pressed, lowering his chopsticks.

"Yup," sang Fuji, a smug smile decorating his lips. "Yumiko also forgot about the flour, so she had me bring that in. She's still trying to find her keys." He reached past Tezuka to snag a pinch of the next dish and pop it into his mouth.

"Okay," Tezuka said, mildly suspicious, but dropping the topic nevertheless.

Fuji licked his fingers contemplatively. "Even better than the last time she made this," he critiqued, wiping his hand on a napkin that he pulled from a nearby stack. His eyes flickered to the ceiling. "Otou-san and okaa-san won't be home for a while. I'm going to take a shower, so just eat as much as you can until I get back." He gave Tezuka an amiable clap on the back and left, crumpling the napkin as he went.

Tezuka obediently picked up the next dish in line. Right after he savored the first bite, the front door opened and slammed shut, and pretty soon, Yumiko peeked into the dining room. "Hello again, Tezuka-kun. How does it taste?"

He swallowed his mouthful. "Good," he complimented truthfully. He raised the sample that Fuji had tried not long ago. "This is even better than the last time you made it," he parroted.

"Aww, that's really sweet of you," she cooed, ruffling his hair affectionately. Tezuka tried not to wince when his glasses were nearly knocked askew. Giving his head one last pat, Yumiko waltzed into the kitchen. "And thanks for getting the cookies out," she tossed over her shoulder.

"No problem." Deciding that some water would be nice, Tezuka stood up and trailed after Yumiko into the adjoining room. He reached into the cupboard above the microwave and carefully removed a glass. "You found your keys then?" he inquired. Turning on the cold water tap, Tezuka patiently waited for the glass to fill up.

Yumiko scooted aside to make room for Tezuka. "Yeah," she said, using a spatula to gingerly transfer her baked goods from the trays to the cooling racks. "They were in the beverage holder of all places." She shook her head in amazement. "When you guys move in together and you misplace something, ask Syusuke to locate it for you."

"Ah." Tezuka doubted that his possessions would go missing that often, but he still accepted Yumiko's nugget of wisdom. After all, as a tensai, Fuji had many a talents up his sleeve, so the notion that tracking down items was one of those skills wouldn't be too farfetched. Tezuka twisted the tap shut once the water reached the glass' rim.

A steady sequence of thumps heralded the arrival of Yuuta from upstairs. Yumiko and Tezuka turned to see Yuuta skidding to a stop at the kitchen's entryway. He'd traded the teddy bear pajama pants for slacks, but he'd ditched the top, period. "Nee-san! Have you seen my dress shirt? The new one with red stripes?"

Yumiko tapped the handle of the spatula against her chin. "I washed a load of clothes this morning, so it might be in the basket next to the dryer," she guessed thoughtfully. "But if it's not there, then I might've accidentally hung it with the jackets in the hall closet."

"Thanks." The youngest Fuji made to leave.

"Oh, Yuuta." He halted in his tracks, and Yumiko grinned slyly. "A shirt's not really necessary," she remarked nonchalantly, a hint of mischief lacing every word. "You've been working out, haven't you?"

Yuuta followed his sister's line of vision to his bare chest and turned a shade of crimson that would invoke the envy of a fire truck. "You're as bad as aniki!" he yelled before hightailing to the laundry room, the tips of his ears flaming.

Chuckling, Yumiko slid the last of the cookies onto the cooling racks. "He's so fun to tease sometimes. I can't help it," she sighed fondly as she started wiping down the counter.

"…" Tezuka drained the last of his water and rinsed out the glass. Since he was already at the sink, he washed the dirty utensils and helped Yumiko return them to their individual spots.

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and frowned pensively at a shelf holding up some baking ingredients. "Hmm, we're running low on flour," she murmured to herself, shaking the nearly empty container. "I'm going to have to buy more next time." She placed the plastic bin down and strolled over to the refrigerator.

Tezuka paused midway through opening a drawer. "I thought you bought some earlier," he reminded her. He deposited a couple of forks into the drawer and nudged it closed.

Yumiko gave him an odd look. "Not today," she contradicted, uncapping a pen and scribbling on the pad of paper stuck on the refrigerator door with a magnet. "Where'd you get that idea?"

Perplexed, he faced the eldest Fuji sibling. "Didn't you have Fuji bring in a bag while you were searching for your keys?"

Looking as baffled as he was, Yumiko capped the pen, set it aside, and began transferring the cooled cookies onto a clean ceramic plate. "No, I didn't," she refuted, arranging the cookies into a circular pattern. "Are you certain Fuji wasn't taking out the trash or something?"

Tezuka's response was promptly interrupted by an almighty shout that sounded a lot like Yuuta.

Glancing at each other momentarily, Tezuka and Yumiko vacated the kitchen and ran to the hall where they discovered Yuuta in front of an opened closet, striped dress shirt in hand and jaw on the floor. They rushed up to the gawking boy.

"Yuuta," Yumko placed a concerned hand on her brother's shoulder. "What's wro-" Her gaze shifted, and her mouth dropped. "Oh," she uttered after a few seconds, and once he saw what Yumiko and Yuuta were ogling, Tezuka reached the same sentiment.

Sprawled on the closet floor was none other than Mizuki. More specifically, sprawled on the closet floor was none other than Mizuki, who was tied up with tangled strings of Christmas lights like a present wrapped by a three-year old on a sugar rush. A pair of felt antlers was perched on his head, a blinking red orb was attached to his nose, and, to complete the picture, a Santa hat was stuffed into his mouth.

Tezuka, Yumiko, and Yuuta gaped speechlessly at Mizuki, and Mizuki gaped back, eyes darting from one person to another. A considerable amount of time passed before Yuuta had the sense of mind to kneel down and remove the Santa hat. "Mizuki-san, what happened to you?" Yuuta asked bewilderedly, fingers picking at the knotted lights. Mizuki opened his mouth to answer.

"Oh my, is that Mituli in the closet?" Fuji again displayed his knack for appearing out of thin air. He leaned in for a closer inspection. "Why, yes it is!" he exclaimed, not seeming very surprised to see his proclaimed enemy trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Yuuta's hands froze, and he slowly got to his feet. "Aniki," he deadpanned, swiveling around to stare at his older brother, "You did this, didn't you?" If Tezuka squinted, he could make out a storm cloud gathering over Yuuta's spiky hair.

Fuji ceased rubbing his wet hair with the fluffy towel and regarded Yuuta with a well-rehearsed shocked expression. "Yuuta," he protested with the perfect amount of innocence injected in his voice, "How could you possibly think that I had something to do with this?" He shot a quick glare at Mizuki.

"He didn't do this," Mizuki squeaked automatically. He let out a high-pitched, nervous titter and ducked behind the cover of Yuuta's legs.

The serene smile returned to Fuji's lips. "You see?" he pointed out to Yuuta. "I can't be held responsible for Miyuki's appalling clumsiness." As though to prove the point, Mizuki toppled over with a crash in a failed attempt to stand up.

"Never a dull moment around here," observed Yumiko as Yuuta began hollering. She presented to Tezuka the plate of cookies she'd been holding the entire time. "Try one?" Bringing up his hands to politely decline, Tezuka was surprised to see that he was still clutching one last kitchen utensil.

And that was how the Fujis' parents were greeted when they arrived home one hour early: a half-naked Yuuta bombarding his older brother with accusations and swinging his shirt around for emphasis, Fuji angelically denying every single one while casually drying his hair, Yumiko determinedly pursuing Tezuka with the cookies, Tezuka discretely inching away and fending her off with a plastic spatula, and Mizuki hopping around and face-planting spectacularly as he tried to untangle himself.

Next year, Tezuka decided as he ducked under Yuuta's flailing arms, he was going to invite Fuji to his own house for Christmas Eve dinner.

~ xXx Owari xXx ~

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A/N: Thanks for reading! :) The seventh pain will definitely be posted next week (I'm determined to keep this promise for once).


	7. Charities

A/N: Ha! I'm actually on schedule in posting for once XD Here's the next installation of Christmas fluff.

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis.

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"Thank you, and have a Merry Christmas!" Fuji cheerfully waved goodbye to the elderly couple. They waved back jovially and went off to continue their shopping. Old people, Fuji thought fondly, you just gotta love them.

He dropped his hand and once again picked up the gaudily decorated bell he'd been issued. "Spread some Christmas joy!" he shouted amid the hum of conversations, "Do take the time to contribute to a good cause!" A few caring shoppers bustled over, nearly dropping their bags as they fumbled through their pockets and purses. Fuji smiled widely and made sure to wish each of them a good night as they left.

There really wasn't any other time like the holidays. Even with all the hectic gift hunting and larger than usual crowds, Fuji rather enjoyed being in the mall. He reached up to flick the tip of his red hat out of the way. The atmosphere certainly made up for having to wear the required Santa outfit, he determined wryly, adjusting the thick black leather belt wrapped around his waist.

Several minutes passed with Fuji jangling the bell and shoppers (most of whom were female, thought there were more than a few males) eagerly responding to his beckoning. It was a while after engaging in a friendly chat with a Christmas enthusiast clad in a reindeer suit (for a moment, Fuji thought that the reindeer was a fellow volunteer) that someone wandered over and leaned against the wall next to him. Fuji rested his line of vision momentarily on the man, returned to scanning the crowd, and did a double take.

The man was by far one of the most gorgeous people that Fuji had ever seen. From the moderately tanned skin, to the aristocratic nose, to the firm jaw line, to the stern yet confident posture, and to the casually arranged hair, the stranger radiated a collected but quiet intensity that kept Fuji staring. Not even the unwieldy mountain of shopping bags clutched in the man's hands could deter from his striking attractiveness.

Said stranger eventually noticed Fuji's blatant gaping. "Good evening," he greeted in a low, rolling voice that more than hinted at a sense of authority.

"Guuuuuuhhhhh," was Fuji's initial and articulate response to being addressed and having the man's piercing gaze on him. Brilliant. Fuji coughed into the crook of his elbow and tried again. "Hot," was his second and equally intelligent attempt at a conversation starter.

The man's eyebrows drew a few millimeters together. "Pardon?" he asked politely in that same deep tone that was pure music on Fuji's ears. But now wasn't the time to get distracted.

Fuji hurriedly brought out his signature grin. When in doubt, smile. "I was just wondering if it was hot since you're wearing that indoors," he fabricated smoothly, motioning toward the man's beige overcoat. It looked a lot like the one his mother had given him last year and was still tucked away in his closet.

Tall, dark, strong and handsome glanced at the garment in question as though realizing what he was wearing for the first time. "It is," he concurred. He placed the bags down on the floor and set to work on deftly undoing the buttons. It wasn't long before he completed the task and shrugged off the thick coat.

As it was, Fuji's eyes nearly popped right out of his head, and he gave a mental squeal of glee.**(1)** Okay, maybe not a squeal, per say, but his mind definitely exploded.

The chocolate brown turtleneck was a spot on match with the stranger's smoldering eyes, and the cotton material very nicely outlined his incredibly toned body. While Fuji wasn't shabby in the muscular department himself, he couldn't help but to admire the man's physique. Christmas must have come early this year, Fuji thought dazedly.

The man paused in the middle of draping the coat over his right arm once Fuji's festive costume caught his attention. "Am I…" He hesitantly gestured to the red money tin on Fuji's left. Somehow, Fuji understood exactly what the man wanted to say with just those two words.

"Not at all," Fuji assured him, smiling winningly. "I'm glad to have your company." A mass of giggling teenage girls scampered over to deposit handfuls of change, all the while glancing back and forth between Fuji and the stranger. "And it seems like you'll be doing me a favor," he added as the girls departed, sneaking peeks over their shoulders.

"Ah," was the monosyllabic rely. The man extended his left arm, thought the better of it, and switched to his right after shifting the overcoat. "Tezuka Kunimitsu," he introduced himself.

Fuji grasped the proffered hand. "Fuji Syusuke." He actually forgot his own name for a second because he was busy approving of Tezuka's lovely fingers, which were slightly calloused, but gorgeously shaped. So what if Fuji's friends teased him about his fetish? He liked his partners to have nice fingers.

It might have been Fuji's imagination, but Tezuka appeared just as reluctant in letting go of Fuji's hand. Fuji shook his head. He was jumping without looking again. Being the remarkably eye-catching person that he was, Tezuka was probably in a satisfying heterosexual relationship. But just in case…

"So, are you here with your girlfriend?" he inquired casually.

Tezuka regarded the numerous bags lying on the floor. "My mother," he corrected, "I'm not with anyone." Tezuka's face remained pretty impassive, but Fuji could pick up the mild thinning of the lips in affectionate exasperation. Fuji knew the feeling well- he'd gone on a shopping spree with his own mom (as in he carried all of her bags) a few days prior. "You?"

Again, what was most likely Fuji's overactive imagination inserted the faintest tinge of hope in Tezuka's nonchalant question. It even sounded vaguely like Tezuka was awaiting a response on Fuji's status rather than why he was here.

"Single," Fuji revealed. He spread out his arms. "And that's how my sister convinced me to volunteer for this week." It wasn't so much persuasion as writing down his name without consulting him, but what were a few details between siblings?

And so he and Tezuka spent the next hour talking about the most random of things, from the pros and cons of having marshmallows in hot chocolate to the theory that Santa Claus might actually be a fairy of sorts.**(2)** Granted, Tezuka didn't speak much, but he was an attentive listener and clearly (clearly to Fuji, at least) expressed his opinions with concise sentences.

Perhaps it was unprofessional of Fuji to be talking while on his shift, but he would counter that having a stoically handsome man by his side attracted attention and encouraged even more people to donate.

In the middle of an intense discussion on if and how elves played tennis up at the North Pole, someone came up and hugged Fuji from behind. "Hey there! How's my beloved Fuji doing?" Saeki wrapped his arms around Fuji's slim waist and rested his chin on the latter's shoulder.

"Excuse me," Fuji said to Tezuka, who nodded in understanding. Fuji reached up to grab a white pompom. "Don't let nee-san and Yuuta hear you say that," he kidded, tugging on Saeki's Santa hat, which was identical to his own. "They might think you're playing favorites."

Saeki waved his hand. "They're just jealous of what we have," he dismissed mock-solemnly, nuzzling Fuji's neck before drawing back to fix his hat. "So how goes the collecting? I knew this pretty face would come in handy someday." He poked Fuji's cheek with a black-gloved finger.

Fuji swatted the prodding digit aside. "Don't damage the merchandise then," he scolded playfully as he bent down to heft up a cardboard box stuffed with red metal buckets. "I'm making good money with it." He deposited the box into Saeki's arms.

"Oof!" gasped Saeki, stumbling a bit before regaining his footing. "You're an expensive little thing," he marveled, giving the box a shake. Upon hearing the jingling contents, he gave Fuji a suspicious look. "But it appears that you're getting lazy already," he accused lightly. "These aren't completely full."

"Oh, that." Fuji gave Saeki a mysterious smile and a friendly pat on the cheek. "Don't worry. I'm just planning ahead. Those buckets will be overflowing by the time you get back to the main booth."

Saeki didn't seem totally convinced, but he shrugged good-naturedly and tromped off, inclining his head in acknowledgment to Tezuka and mouthing "Tell me later" to Fuji.

Chuckling, Fuji watched as Saeki made it to the fountain some meters away before he was surrounded by flocks of females very eager to donate. "He says that I'm expensive, but he really should take a look in the mirror," Fuji snickered while a puzzled but nevertheless pleased Saeki graciously accepted the bills and coins thrust his way.

"You guys seem close," Tezuka observed. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall. Fuji tilted his head at the mild darkening of Tezuka's voice.

"We've been friends since childhood." Now why did he have the sudden need to explain himself? Fuji quickly switched to a more mischievous tone. "Are you jealous?" he teased, eyes twinkling. It wasn't meant to be a serious question, but still.

Tezuka looked away, expression schooled into what Fuji deemed an almost pout, and mumbled something that sounded along the lines of "I won't dignify that with a response."

Fuji fully intended to pry further, but at that moment, a panting woman stumbled out of a packed clothing boutique with several bags crushed protectively against her chest. "Kunimitsu!" she called, shoving away a bystander whose hands were wandering close to her purchases. "I'm done for today!"

Letting the softest of sighs escape his kissable lips, Tezuka faced Fuji, the slightest shade of regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I have to go now," he apologized, gathering up his mother's earlier conquests.

"Don't be." Fuji handed Tezuka a wrapped box that had been dropped in the process. "I probably should've been doing my job better," he laughed, somewhat sheepishly, "but it was great meeting you."

"Likewise." Tezuka tucked the package under his arm, bid Fuji a good night, and made to leave. He turned back at the last second however. "I'll see you tomorrow," he stated.

"Tomorrow?" Fuji cocked his head, doing a fairly poor job of concealing his confusion. Not that he was against seeing Tezuka again, but it was unexpected to say the least.

Tezuka shifted on his feet, bags rustling as he did so. "You're here tomorrow at the same time, right?" he asked a bit uncertainly. At Fuji's affirmation, he continued. "I don't think you accept credit cards," he said, eyes focusing momentarily on the red donation bucket, "so I'll bring cash next time."

"What a good civilian you are," Fuji joked. He gave Tezuka an appraising look. "I'm flattered, but you don't have to come all the way to the mall, you know? I'm sure the organization has set up locations at grocery stores closer to wherever you live."

Clearing his throat, Tezuka stared at a point above Fuji's right shoulder. "I was thinking we could go out for dinner once you finished," he offered, resolutely gazing past Fuji, a hint of pink rising on his cheeks.

As when he first spotted Tezuka, Fuji found himself rendered briefly speechless. He guessed, from the sudden heat in his face, that he was just as flushed as Tezuka. "So it's a date then," he declared boldly once he regained use of his vocal chords, beaming as he brushed his bangs aside.

Tezuka met his eyes and smiled, and the Christmas lights strung up over the store entrances and windows seemed to glow that much brighter. Somewhere above them, a female voice belted out _~All I want for Christmas, is yooouuu~_**(3)** "Yes," Tezuka agreed, "it's a date."

~ Owari ~

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A/N: Hmm, this was shorter than I intended. I'll try to make the next one (to be done and posted next week?) a bit lengthier.

**(1)** – From the song "The Marvelous Toy." I never figured out what the toy was. Maybe a robot?

**(2) – **The story of San D'Klass from _Artemis Fowl_.

**(3) – **The Mariah Carey song. There used to be a video on YouTube with this song that had a very excellent slideshow of the PoT boys in their Christmas wear, but it was probably deleted.

Anyways, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it :)


	8. Pains Eight Through Twelve

A/N: I hate leaving things unfinished, and since I was too lazy to write out actual oneshots, I ended up doing a bunch of drabbles *shrugs*

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

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_I want a Transformer for Christmas _(AU)

The stuffed animal was the strangest creature Tezuka had ever seen, and that was saying something since Tezuka had seen a lot for a five year old. "What's that?" he asked its owner, a boy about his age.

The boy beamed, sapphire eyes sparkling. "It's a whale," he declared proudly, holding it out. "A _beluga_ whale."

"Be-looooo-ga," Tezuka repeated in awe, stroking the fuzzy white toy and admiring the velvety feel. Well, his grandfather _did_ say having a pet would teach him about responsibilities.

He wondered if Santa could include a big enough tank to go with his pet whale.

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_No parking spaces _(AU)

"This is ridiculous," muttered Tezuka, strangling the steering wheel and imagining that it was a certain Atobe Keigo's neck.

"Seriously," grumbled Fuji, staring vigilantly out the window. "You'd think that he could at least choose a place for his Christmas party with a bigger parking lot." Tezuka grunted in agreement, turning into a lane they'd gone through twice already.

Several minutes later, they were still driving in circles. "You know," Fuji said finally, "We could just skip the party, find a deserted alley, and have sex. How about it?"

Tezuka wordlessly turned the car around and stepped on the gas.

* * *

_Batteries not included _(AU)

Huffing irritably, Fuji rummaged through the sea of wrapping paper and tape once more. "What a cheapo," he announced to the world at large.

"Who's a cheapo?" Tezuka entered their living room with two steaming mugs in hand.

"Shiraishi," Fuji clarified, accepting one. "He gave me that as a gag gift, but no batteries to go with it." As his hands were occupied, Fuji nodded his head to point out a bright blue vibrator.

Tezuka blinked, and pulled out an unwrapped package of small cylinders from the mess under the tree. "Well, Chitose's present makes a lot more sense now."

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_Stale TV specials_ (not really Tefu)

"Wow, it's snowing hard," breathed Eiji, face against the clubhouse's window.

"Fsssssh," Kaidoh hissed in agreement.

Inui frowned. "But my data said it wasn't supposed to snow," he mumbled.

"Either way," Ryoma griped, "we're stuck inside."

"It could be worse," Fuji piped up. "Tezuka could have us running laps. _Outside_."

The team stared at their captain, who was talking to Ryuuzaki-sensei at the back, before pouncing on the TV remote.

"Being snowed in is so _fun_!" emphasized Taka.

"Oh boy, soap operas are the _best_!" enthused Oishi.

"I _love_ infomercials!" simpered Momo.

There were no more complaints from then on.

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_Singing Christmas carols_ (not really Tefu either)

Every year, Seishun Gakuen put on a special winter festival for the parents.

Each club (or class) did something different- setting up booths, acting out play, so on. And although it wasn't official, there was a contest for the best group.

That particular year, the tennis club, singing a medley of Christmas songs, won hands down. They'd rehearsed diligently in between practice matches, and, come festival time, gave an enthusiastic performance that had the audience weeping.

With tears of agony staining his cheeks, the principal later congratulated Ryuuzaki-sensei on forming a club with all the tone-deaf students in the school.

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xXx Owari xXx

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A/N: And after more years than necessary, this Christmas fic is finally done. OTL Thanks to everyone for reading, and happy holidays!


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